We were
flattered recently by an invitation to a friend’s birthday party - not just an
un-structured free-for-all in a house ill-suited for mass entertaining, a
make-do arrangement with the kitchen turned into an uncomfortable, standing-room-only
bar, the dining table spread with cling-filmed plates of buffet food and the
lounge cleared for a late finale of drunken dad-dancing – but a thoughtfully
organised event set in a properly resourced function room and featuring a
grown-up, seated supper. We marked our diaries immediately and resolved the
inevitable ‘drinking and driving’ dilemma well in advance so that we could look
forward to an evening with our much-loved host and assorted friends. There
remained just one minor concern: we were all required to take part in a session
of ballroom dancing.
Now, we are
all familiar with the theory of ‘comfort-zones’ i.e. we like to be in them but
we know it’s good for us to get out of them from time to time (presumably, for
therapeutic reasons). Nevertheless there’s no denying that it feels good to be
doing only what lies within your own capabilities and is part of your own
nature. That way lies confidence and self-assurance. Not that I am averse to
formal dancing: it’s just that I don’t know the moves and am prone to freeze up
on my partner or, worse, do damage to her feet. Whereas our host is an
accomplished dancer, quite comfortable with gliding through waltzes or swinging
her hips to complex Latin rhythms, some of us lack practise, confidence or
inherent ability: in some cases all three. I braced myself for an excursion out
of my comfort zone and into someone else's.
My limited
experience of formal dancing is defined by the lessons I had as a seventeen-year
old boarder at an all-boys school. The curriculum there was rigidly orthodox
and, since it was run by a religious order, the cultural ethos was much the
same. In the year prior to our release, however, a token effort was made to
introduce us to some of the social skills we might usefully employ in the
future pursuit of suitable wives. Dancing was one of these and weekly evening
classes were duly mandated. Of course it was deemed too risky to co-operate
them with the nearby all-girls school in case scandal might ensue so, during
the lessons, we were obliged to take turns at impersonating females. In this
way the school succeeded not only in making formal dancing appear farcical but
also in destroying any chance we might have of acquiring a wife in a ballroom.
On leaving school, having abandoned hope of gaining close contact with girls by
the formal method, I reverted to free-form dance.
On the night
of the party I was called to account. I need not have worried about being
conspicuously incompetent as it turned out: others shared that distinction. And
we were not left simply to sink or swim: our host had engaged professional
instructors to guide us through the steps. Their method is tried and tested.
First they show you a short sequence of steps, forward left back and...Then another, forward right left and... And then put them together, forward left back and forward right left
and... After a few goes at this they introduce the tricky part, sideways turn and... Then, just when everyone appears to have mastered
the entire sequence, they play the music. And everything falls apart.
I suppose
there eventually comes a point at which you can stop mouthing instructions
while staring at your feet and just let the rhythm guide you. But I didn't get
there that night and, by the following day, I was in a distinctly uncomfortable
zone - nursing a sore sacroiliac joint on account of the Cha-Cha-Cha.
A sore sacroiliac joint appart !!! it sounds like a fun party.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a fabulous evening we all had.
ReplyDelete