Vibraphones in the Market Economy

The only time I ever attended an auction was 35 years ago, yet still I recall the heart-racing combination of excitement and anxiety which immediately preceded my very first bid. It was brought on by the apparent urgency of the process and the perceived need to make a commitment under the pressure of a time-limit in the presence of professionals. Perhaps with the benefit of experience a naive novice such as I would have turned into a hardened hustler, but I'll never know for sure because now there is a more agreeable form of auction - eBay. Whereas the traditional form gives rise to the "bid in haste/repent at leisure" model, eBay allows time for those of a more tentative disposition to make their moves.

  

But in order to participate you must first embrace the internet - and there are those who don't, can't or won't. A radio programme this week featured some of them. One interviewee, a woman who won't, based her 'argument' not on rationale but on refusal. I imagine her as the type of person who thinks things were better when the Earth was flat. If she were to try it she might find, as I do, that eBay is a useful, entertaining and stimulating marketplace. Moreover, it benefits from not being physically crowded with sharp-elbowed shoppers. EBay is certainly playing its part in the process of clearing out unwanted items from our life as my partner and I prepare to move house. Prior to auctioning off my own treasured possessions, I have tentatively offered for sale some of her gear - a Mulberry cosmetics bag, a pair of crampons and two ice-axes. I know. Two ice axes! Still, it was gratifying to see that within minutes of their listing, all the items had attracted the attention of several 'watchers' and, the next day, even a couple of bidders.

Meanwhile, at the last meeting of the Heaton Moor Jazz Appreciation Society (whose members have recently welcomed me to their meetings on the grounds that I like jazz and used to live in Heaton Moor) our host for the evening demonstrated his willingness to embrace the internet. His chosen topic, Young Women and their Relationship to the Vibraphone, was presented using clips uploaded to You Tube which he cleverly projected onto the wall. Whilst I admired his mastery of both the topic and the technology, the evening's enjoyment was slightly marred by some intermittent buffering and the fact that the vibraphone doesn't do it for me.

When I got home I could not resist checking in to eBay to see how my sales were progressing.  There were some pesky questions to answer: How long is the axe? How much will it cost to post the crampons to Spain? But there were also bids on all four items. I slept smugly that night. The ice-axe auction climaxed the next day with a flurry of bids in the closing seconds. It was no surprise that both of the buyers live in Scotland and, although there is some confusion over who pays for the postage, there is no denying the satisfaction to be had from a successful sale. It gives an insight into the addictive quality of a career in sales.

Today, with my newly won confidence, I look forward to the closing stages of bidding on the remaining items. The Spaniard has withdrawn since finding out that postage would cost him more than a trip to Madrid to buy brand new top-of-the-range crampons. And the Mulberry bag - the item I would consider the least useful of the lot - is attracting by far the most money. While I wait for the countdown I search eBay for vibraphones. I’m just curious to know what value people put on them.