Just the other day, Microsoft asked me, ever so politely, whether I would answer “just one question” about advertising. Since I was at a loose end and feeling relaxed and magnanimous, I tapped the “yes” option, which opened a list of tick-boxes aimed at determining whether P&O is my preferred cruise line. Now, I wouldn’t go on a cruise unless I were paid to do so as part of a research project, so the omission of a box labelled N/A was a bit of an error on their part. Fair enough, I did once book a P&O ferry, but they surely know the difference between a practical, point-to-point sailing and an extended point-less jaunt around the oceans.
During my
brief career in Monmouth Street, the one-time epicentre of London’s advertising
industry, I learned a few things about the business. Apart from absorbing the adage
that only half of all advertising pays off and nobody knows which half that is,
I also learned to appreciate the power of subtlety and humour in ads and, more crucially,
the importance of placing them where they would have the best chance of
reaching their intended audience. (This has come in handy later in life, as in
deciding how best to promote the jazz evenings, for example. My campaign
includes posters in nearby leisure venues and a carefully cultivated WhatsApp
group.) Microsoft may have screwed up, but I can’t really blame them for making
assumptions about me, since I provide only the bare minimum personal
information when creating accounts with internet service providers (ISPs).
Google and Microsoft may know my name and date of birth but, because I don’t
use their browsers (if I can avoid doing so), they can’t define my social
demographic accurately. So, I don’t feel justified in complaining when they
target me inappropriately.
And the ISPs,
have another problem coming. AI is eating their lunch. I and others have taken
to using AI for internet searches, a method of enquiry that bypasses the list
of websites you might otherwise have to visit to obtain your answers, thereby diminishing
their source of advertising revenue. I heard on the news that Google, recognising
that it has shot itself in the foot, is considering charging for internet
searches. This may make commercial sense, but it would surely lead to a lexical
adjustment regarding the verb ‘to google’. Will we see the advent of pay-per-use
Google? Perhaps they should ask AI what the best way forward is for their
business model.
Instagram is
another platform that culls personal data, but that doesn’t dissuade me from using
it to stay in touch – even with the dead! I’ve recently been following Frank Zappa
and the Furry Freak Brothers (well, the FFBs would be dead by now if they weren’t
comic characters). As for Frank, there are many video clips of him, not only
performing, but also being interviewed and it is in these exchanges that I’ve come
to realise just how politically and socially clued-up he was. Although this was
always evident in his lyrics, I was too preoccupied with the guitar licks to pay
much attention. In fact, you could say I was laid-back, FFB style.
I also use a
free online diary to manage my busy, eventful life. Of all the apps there are,
you would expect this one to be best placed to collect personal data with laser-like
accuracy. Yet, despite occasionally displaying ads that are almost on target –
and never having touted sea cruises, by the way – I’m at a loss to work out why
it has lately been showing me a photo of a WC and urging, “Transform your
toilet”. I mean, I hadn’t given it a thought, never mind a diary entry.
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